


Pilot

by BubbaKnowlton



Series: Evil Space Dads [66]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with no happy ending, Dad AU, Eventual Emperor Hux, M/M, Past mpreg mention, Post TFA, alien babies, but nah, lots of child death, so like you think there's gonna be a happy ending, xeno/alien Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 15:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11970060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbaKnowlton/pseuds/BubbaKnowlton
Summary: Two of their children are caught in the explosion of Starkiller, the third is horribly injured. The galaxy has it out for them, and there's only one option left to help her.





	Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to have a lot more of Poe in it but uhh, I took a different direction.  
> I wrote this because I love hurting myself and my friends :^) rawringryu this one's for you lmao  
> I am writing like crazy it's great lmao

**Pilot**

The scanner beeped as Hux passed underneath it, and a whole slew of things popped up on the datapad of the Resistance officer in charge of checking them. He stood still as they looked through everything, annoyed.

"Please remove your pack for search, General."

"No."

"General, there are multiple things that need to be removed before you enter-"

"Absolutely not."

They scowled. "Your pack contains multiple syringes, and a life form. I cannot allow you to bring anything dangerous to the peace meeting."

"They aren't dangerous. My pack holds my daughter, and her pain medication. The medication is harmless to people, and my daughter can hardly move on her own, much less be a threat to anyone."

Glancing at his pack, they swallowed. "Let me see for myself."

Hux gently shrugged off his pack and set it down on the table. He opened up the side pockets and showed the officer the syringes clearly labeled as pain relief. He put them back, and then unzipped the top. The bacta container his daughter was in had a clear lid, giving the officer an easy view of her. 

"That's not a baby."

He scowled. "Yes she is. I gave birth to her only three months ago."

"You're nonhuman?"

"Exactly."

They let him through. He sighed, wishing he could get this over with sooner so he could go back to his quarters and make sure his daughter was alright. He wanted to take her out and cuddle her, read her a story or play with a toy, but it would be too painful for her. She had to stay in the tube. She could only come out for a while after getting her shots. Then, she had to go back in.

At least he could interact with her somewhat, by pressing his fingers to the transparisteel and letting her follow them with a tentacle.

As he entered the room, regrouping with Phasma and Mitaka, he could see Organa was sitting at the end of a table. She had some lieutenant next to her, along with-

" _Dameron._ "

The pilot had the gall to smile at him. "General Hux! I'm surprised you remember me."

"Of course I do, you're the one who-"

"General!" Mitaka interrupted. "The meeting."

"Dopheld, I do not care anymore. I am going to kill him-"

Phasma grabbed his arms as he stepped forward. "Sir, this is a peaceful meeting." She pulled him backwards, and his pack clinked against her armor. In a whisper, she said to him, "Your child will get hurt if you fight." He tried to calm himself down. Phasma was right, his daughter would get tossed around and hurt if he tried to attack Dameron. Worse, if the tube smashed, she'd be exposed to air and lots of broken shards. 

He'd get his revenge later. Phasma released him, and he clenched his fists.

"I refuse to negotiate with Dameron in the room."

"We agreed to each have three people with us." Leia was firm, and Hux could tell he wouldn't be able to convince her. He tried anyways.

"Then Dopheld will go out with him. I cannot negotiate a peace treaty with that pilot in front of me."

"It's difficult for me to negotiate with the man that ordered the destruction of the Hosnian system, but I will. Surely you can set aside any hard feelings from the battlefield."

"The feeling is personal. We'll schedule a different negotiation time, then. Goodbye, Organa."

He turned around and walked out of the room. Phasma and Mitaka followed without a word.

-

It was a relief to return to the _Finalizer_. He went to his quarters as soon as he could and took the tube out of the backpack. He placed it and the little air filter attached to it onto his bed, propped up against a pillow. His daughter was asleep, her soft, grey body deflating and inflating with each breath, the only tell she was alive at all. A bit disappointing, he'd wanted to interact with her, but sleep was good for her, a respite from the pain.

Watching her rest was a comfort, but also a cruel reminder that in order for her to not suffer, she needed to be unconscious. Or dead, but he refused to even consider the option. One day he would find a strong enough painkiller for her that wouldn't be too dangerous, or he'd find a doctor that could fix her enough to ease the pain.

Perhaps when Ren returned, they could figure out a way to use the force to help her.

Thinking about Ren made his heart hurt. He missed the man terribly, and worried about his wellbeing, but he dreaded telling him that two of their children had died, and that the surviving one was confined to a tube of bacta and a life of pain.

The thought of his other two children still brought him near tears, and with having to see Dameron, the one who had caused all of his grief, he couldn't hold them back. He thought he was done crying every time he remembered them after two months, but apparently not.

Even though he'd promised himself he wouldn't do it again, he brought out the most recent holograph he had of the kids. It was him holding the three of them, Ren hugging him from behind. The kids were all snuggling up to him, their oldest reaching for Ren with one tentacle. The youngest was trying to hug him, tentacles outstretched over the front of his uniform. They'd always been smaller than their siblings. The middle one was content with just snuggling in the crook of his arm.

He grabbed a pillow to bury his face in so he wouldn't wake up his daughter with his crying. She needed to sleep, not see her mother crying and be reminded that her two siblings were gone.

After a while there was a piercing beep from the tube. He sighed, and pulled it over. He dragged the backpack over and removed one of the syringes. Twice a day and once during the night, he had to give her painkillers. He always hated doing it; she hated it, and it always made her squirm.

He unclasped the top of the tube, entering in a code. It popped off, and he gently rested it on the bed. He reached into the tube, hating the feel of the bacta, and grabbed one of her tentacles. He pulled it up, and then injected her. She woke up, immediately wriggling. He kept the tentacle in hand, gently rubbing it with his thumb. He wished he could pull her out and rock her, but it'd be too difficult for her.

Gradually she calmed down, and fell back asleep, the painkillers working quickly. He pressed a kiss to her tentacle, and slipped it back in, before sealing the tube once more, double checking that all her vitals were okay and she was breathing normally. He wiped the bacta off of his lips. Then he moved the tube to the nightstand, securing it in place within a frame bolted to the top.

He was terrified that it would somehow smash, and was taking all precautions possible. It would be better if he could bolt it to his desk and the wall, and leave her there, but it was too far away. He wanted her close, and couldn't bear the thought of leaving her alone. She already suffered so much, she didn't need to suffer from loneliness too.

She'd gone from having a brother and sister constantly with her, with two very attentive parents, to being trapped in a tube with just him to carry her around and give her medicine. Ren was still with Snoke, with no set return date.

Briefly, he considered the blaster he kept on his desk. It would be so easy to just shoot her and then himself. Ren had spoken of an afterlife, he'd be able to see his other two children again. Ren was sure to be quick to follow, as well. They could all be together again.

He was too afraid to grab it and try, felt terrible about the thought. It wouldn't be fair to cause that much grief to Ren. They would need to discuss it first. He wasn't even sure if he would actually be able to do it.

Sighing, he looked over at his daughter. "Sleep well, Elli." He needed to do work.

-

The painkillers, like every other medication he tried for Elli, eventually weren't strong enough. She'd start showing she was in pain before she was due for her next shot, her body growing used to them. There were no stronger painkillers on the _Finalizer,_ and if he increased the dosage, they would run out before their next supply run. Then she would be in even more pain.

"I hate to suggest this, General, but... Perhaps you should consider having her put out of her misery. I'm not trying to say you should or shouldn't, but it is an option."

The medic had meant well, and he'd said he'd think about it. He trudged back to his quarters, tube in his arms. He set her down on the bed, pulled off his gloves, and then numbly grabbed the blaster off of his desk. Switching it off of safety, he went back to the bed and pointed the barrel against the side.

It would be so easy to shoot, just a simple pull of the trigger, and she'd never be in pain again.

His hand shook. He couldn't bring himself to do it. Letting go of the gun, he climbed onto the bed and hugged Elli. "I'm sorry... I'm the worst mother in the galaxy, aren't I? The most selfish, cowardly- I should have just... I shouldn't have had the three of you. You all deserved a far better mother than me." She didn't understand him, far too young. "I miss your brother and sister so much. I miss Ren, too."

-

He managed to resist giving Elli extra painkillers until she was due for her usual injection. She didn't like getting the shot, but soon settled down once it dulled her system. He took her out of the tube to hold her, wiping the bacta off of her. He cradled her in one arm and she wrapped a few tentacles around his fingers.

"Do you want to read a holorecord, Elli?"

She made a small noise, releasing his hand. He reached over and brought out her favorite story, one about a few animals. She was especially fond of the scenes with a creature called a cat, and scenes with fish. As they reached a page showing a few fish in a square tank, Elli made a noise. 

"They live in a tank, just like you." He pointed to the tank, and then to her tube. She gave an excited chirp. "Except they breathe the water they live in, and you can't breathe in bacta. Don't try to." She gave a chirp up at him, and he smiled.

He went back to the book, pausing on the scenes with more fish so Elli could admire them. After he finished the book, she was starting to fall asleep. When she finally was sound asleep after being rocked, he put her breathing mask on and lowered her into the tube. He sealed the container and placed it on the side table, where it clasped into a secure charging system. He plugged in all the back up batteries he had, and checked her vitals. All good.

-

After a long day of lugging Elli around and working, he decided to wind down by playing with her through the tube. He had found some washable markers unused in a closet, and had then found that they wiped off easily from transparisteel. He decided that he'd try to teach Elli how to play a game. He drew the base of it on the glass, two lines cut into three by two more lines. He drew an A in the middle, and waited for Elli to pick a square. She touched the A, and looked at him. When he didn't move, she moved her tentacle over slightly. He drew an E in it, and then added an A on the square over the first.

She touched a blank corner. He filled in the E, and then made a streak with the A's, and drew a line down them.

He erased the base, and redrew it, adding another A. Elli repeated it, but this time, instead of touching a corner, she touched the square under the A's. He put the E. It took her a few tries before she got her own win, not very good at thinking ahead and relying on chance, and she wiggled happily when he drew a line through her three E's. He'd let her win, of course, but she couldn't tell the difference.

He made a mental note to figure out more games to play with her.

-

She was down to her last two syringes. Her next one was in the morning, and she was clearly in pain. He wanted to do something about it, had tried to distract her in every way, but couldn't. All he could do was sit in his quarters with the tube on his lap and try to will the morning to come faster. It'd be hours yet, and time seemed to be going extra slowly as all he could focus on was Elli squirming around and pushing at the lid. He couldn't even apologize to her, the words would be meaningless to a baby.

His commlink beeped, and he grabbed it. He swallowed before answering, "What is it?"

"Sir, an Upsilion Class shuttle is boarding. It's Kylo Ren's ship."

"Is he on board?"

"Yes, sir. He made contact with the bridge through hologram, and provided the correct identification code. He requests that you meet him in the hangar."

He couldn't move Elli too much. "Request denied, I cannot greet him at this time. Tell him he may come to my quarters."

"Of course, sir. Would you like to be alerted once he's on his way?"

"Yes." The commlink's light went dark as the transmission ended. He put it down and took a deep breath. Ren was back. What he'd been wanting and dreading. Elli shoved at the lid, and he looked down at her. "Your father's back. Time to tell him what happened." He hoped that Ren already knew, that somehow he'd sensed it and he wouldn't be forced to explain it and see Ren fall into grief. He wasn't strong enough to watch.

-

He set Elli's tube aside once the bridge informed him Ren was on his way, tucking her into a circle of blankets. Then he got up and looked at himself in the mirror. He quickly brushed his hair back. He looked normal, just paler, with a bit of purple under his eyes. He hadn't allowed himself to fall so deep into grief that he'd stop taking care of himself, even if he had wanted to.

He paced beside his bed as he waited, anxiety growing.

After a few minutes, the door slid open. Hux halted, struggling to keep his hands from shaking. Ren stepped in, looking the same as ever, just with a thin scar on his face. He smiled, and Hux felt guilty, even though none of what had happened had been his fault. "Hux!"

Ren hugged him, and tears sprang to Hux's eyes. He buried his face in the crook of Ren's neck, trembling. "Don't cry, I'm alright. I missed you and the kids. Snoke wouldn't let me comm you, he said it would distract me from my training." He didn't know. He hadn't sensed it, and Snoke hadn't told him. "Where are the kids, anyways? Are they asleep? I bet they've grown a lot."

He tried to pull away to look around for them, but Hux hugged him tighter, refusing to let go. "Come on, they must have missed me as much as you did." They couldn't. Hux shook his head, sniffling. Ren gave in and hugged him some more, rubbing his back. Then he managed to pry him off. "What's wrong?"

"They-" He'd never actually said it out loud. He held back a sob, throat burning. "Mori and Sxia are gone."

"What?"

He couldn't bring himself to look at Ren's face. "They didn't make it off of Starkiller."

"What about Elli?"

Hux went to the bed and grabbed the tube. He lifted it up. "She's alive." Elli was still shoving at the lid. "A lieutenant managed to pull her out of some burning wreckage." He'd left the three in an officer's care while he went to inform Snoke, and they hadn't made it far before wreckage crushed them. Mori and Sxia had been on the officer's shoulders, while Elli was in their hand.

"She's in pain."

"Her painkillers aren't strong enough, but it's too dangerous for her to take a higher dose."

"Can she come out?"

"No, it'll make her feel even worse." She gave up on shoving, and went limp in the bacta. "When the painkillers worked she could for a few minutes."

Ren took the tube, silent. Hux sat down on the bed, staring at his lap. Ren sat next to him. He ran a hand down the side of the tube. After a minute of silence, Ren asked, "What options did the medbay give her?"

"She can continue her dosage, or be put out of her misery."

"Killed?"

"It's cruel to let her suffer. I tried to do it, but... I didn't know what you'd say."

"I'm n-not strong enough to fix her." Ren's voice broke. "There's nothing we can do." He turned the tube so it was laying on its side. Spreading his legs a bit, he balanced it there. He pulled out his lightsaber, and put it over the tube.

Hux wanted to look away, but didn't. Ren's hands shook. "I'm sorry, Elli." Hux reached over and put his hand around Ren's, squeezing it so that the weapon turned on. Ren shuddered, gasping. He released the lightsaber, and it turned off. Warm bacta poured out of the new hole in the tube.

-

Wrapping an arm around the baby, Hux sighed. He had a lot of work to do as emperor, and worrying about his infant didn't help his exhaustion. The two month old was sleeping soundly after being fed and rocked. Still, Hux was anxious about her. He hadn't gotten much sleep since she was born. She stirred, so Hux pulled her closer to himself. The movement woke her, and she whimpered.

"Shh, Gwen, go back to sleep." She didn't, starting to cry. He sat up and lifted her. She was so fussy when she woke up, and cried at the drop of a hat. He wasn't good at soothing her. The triplets had always been happy babies, and would calm down just by being held. He'd never learned how to comfort them. He'd never even figured out how to comfort Elli.

Gwen kept crying. Hux rocked her, not knowing what else to do. They'd tried everything they could find on the HoloNet, nothing worked. She just cried until she was too tired to. 

Ren slept next to them, somehow sleeping through the noise. Hux wasn't sure how he managed to. Even if he took a pill, he always woke up when she made noise, and struggled to fall asleep.

-

Gwen held onto a toy as the medic examined her. She had a full exam once a month, and now that she was four months old, she was due for her fourth. She wasn't very interested in anything, and only held onto the toy because she'd been handed it.

After the exam and looking at her blood work, the medic made an intrigued noise. "Well, Emperor, I'm not really sure what to say."

"What?"

"She's not doing well. Her growth rate has slowed down and the DNA test is concerning, to say the least. Her genetic makeup isn't healthy, not like your previous children's. Has she been fussy, at all?"

"Yes." Hux clenched his fists. "She always crying."

"She's a hybrid. Hybrids don't usually last long. Especially not mixes with one species who need to undergo metamorphosis. Humans don't have the genetic code for that. You're lucky to exist yourself, sir."

"So..."

"She's trying to change, but can't. We can monitor her, but she'll get weaker as she gets older, and I'm not sure what'll happen when she hits the six month mark. Based on your files, you completed your metamorphosis then. If she doesn't... The juvenile phase isn't meant to survive that long."

"I understand." 

-

Hux wondered if the galaxy hated him. Gwen was gnawing on a toy in his lap, and he didn't want to process that in a little over two months, she wouldn't be around anymore. He didn't want to tell Ren. The man had been so happy when Gwen was born, he would be crushed to learn that that happiness was being dashed. 

However, it would be cruel to keep it from him. He knew he'd be ruined if Ren were to keep such a secret from him and their daughter just suddenly died on them.

As soon as he was back in their bedroom, he sat down on the edge of the bed and held onto Gwen. She was having a rare good day, which made him feel even worse. She patted him with a tentacle. 

He didn't want to lose her too. At least with the triplets, he had people to blame for their deaths. But there was no one to blame for Gwen. She just happened to get a bad combination of genes. The triplets were probably a miracle, almost, to have good genes. He missed the triplets, he'd miss Gwen too.

Gwen wanted to be put down, so he let her roll around the bed and gnaw on the blankets. He kept her away from the edge, and felt a bit happy. He managed to ignore all the grief for just a bit.

Ren came back from training. Seeing Gwen having so much fun, he smiled. He walked up to the bed and scooped her up. "You're having fun, huh?" He kissed her head. Hux felt awful again. "Are you having a good day? How'd her exam go, Hux?"

He swallowed. "Not... well..."

Ren's smile faded. Gwen squirmed. "What do you mean?"

"Her test results revealed that she's not capable of metamorphosis. Unlike the triplets, her genetic code is fatal. The medic expects her to last two more months."

"That's- it's not fair."

"We can't do anything. It's not possible to alter her DNA." Hux looked at her. She was making noise, wanting to keep rolling around.

"Maybe she'll survive."

**Author's Note:**

> She doesn't lmaoooooooooo ;^)
> 
> Follow/talk to me on Tumblr! @Oblioknowlton or @Tinybibmpreg


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